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How New York divorced parents maintain relationships with children

New York couples should gain insight on how to maintain their relationship with their children during and after divorce.

Divorce can be a tough and trying time not only for parents, but for their children as well. Couples in New York who are getting divorced might be curious as to what they can do to maintain, build or renew their relationship with their children. A few useful tips can go a long way in improving the family dynamic during trying times.

Say only good things about the other parent in front of your child

No matter how you might feel about your ex-spouse, refrain from speaking ill about him or her in front of your children. Remember, your children may feel pressured to choose sides when they are going through a divorce, and any ill will you harbor towards your ex-spouse could sour your child's relationship with you or the other parent.

Think about how you will handle family events

Just because you divorce does not mean you do not have to worry about graduations, birthdays, family reunions and other events at which you, your ex-spouse and your children might have to make an appearance. Start thinking about how you will handle such events so you can prepare yourself and your children accordingly. Let them see that just because their parents are not together does not mean family events have to be awkward or strained.

Do not argue with your ex in front of your kids

Arguments are common during divorce, but that does not mean they have to take place where your children can see and hear. If and when you sense an argument or disagreement coming when you are face-to-face with your ex, table the discussion for later when the two of you can be alone. Divorce is frustrating enough for children, they do not need to see their parents fighting with each other.

Talk to your kids openly about the divorce

Your kids deserve to know why their parents are getting a divorce, and they also need to know the split is not their fault and that you will still be in their lives. Let your child ask questions and try to answer them as best you can in terms they can understand. Depending on the situation, it might be a good idea to seek help from a therapist who specializes in divorce to know how to talk to your kids about divorce and answer their questions.

Just as your kids might need a bit of help understanding divorce while living in New York, you might as well. Reach out to an attorney to explore your options for divorce and learn which steps to take for the best results for you, your ex-spouse and your children.

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